whoops?

[andaisq]

Morty knows he shouldn't be screwing around with multidimensional shit. It's dangerous, it's impractical, it's blah blah blah. But it's a potential key to unlimited energy, how does nobody see that? He's built a dimensional siphon (it kind of looks like a cardboard box with a funnel and a TI-84 taped to it, but it damn well works), keyed in the dimensional coordinates to a random plane, and by God he's going to use it.

He flips the switch and waits for the energy bar to fill up.

It does! It fills up very rapidly. Then it explodes, along with the box. There's rather more smoke than there should be, and once the smoke clears someone is standing there.

"Whoops?" Morty says faintly.

Comments

[andaisq]

Carson claps her hands together. Excellent. Then I can put a translation spell on you, find someone to show you to the infirmary, and get started on the absolutely disastrous paperwork that Mr. Halliwell has brought upon us yet again.

[subtly_artistic]

Okay. Should I just expect to be escorted pretty much everywhere for now so I don't need to memorize where it is and isn't safe to go immediately?

[andaisq]

...One of the nice features of our world is, I think, fewer places that aren't safe to go. Whateley is unusual in actually containing a few, namely the sewers and certain clearly marked parts of the forest. Outside those areas you are vanishingly unlikely to be eaten.

[subtly_artistic]

Oh, that's nice then. Am I also less likely to be attacked by students and faculty? Make it a hat trick?

[andaisq]

I'm finding myself more and more thankful for it, yes, Carson thinks drily. Faculty will under no circumstances attack you, unless possessed or something to that effect. Students may, infrequently, but almost always nonlethally, and it is technically illegal for them to do so. So you can report them to faculty, who will punish them accordingly, or retaliate in kind, which is frowned upon but a legitimate response for those more comfortable with it.

[subtly_artistic]

That's good then. Does 'in kind' mean that if someone comes at me with a knife (Bella is, in fact, wearing a knife) then it has to be a knife fight, or can I just knock them out...?

[andaisq]

Morty looks very slightly horrified. Mrs. Carson seems to be finding a sort of black comedy in this whole affair despite herself.

Just knocking them out is not only appropriate but highly encouraged. Knives are generally frowned upon, since they're easier to accidentally kill someone with; however, if someone with mental shielding assaults you, your best effort at nonlethal self-defense will be fine. Though I might recommend pepper spray or a shock wand, instead, as a matter of personal preference.

[subtly_artistic]

I was mid-semester on Arcane Defense but I know a couple things. Subtle arts knockout would just be my go-to. The knife is only there because I needed one for the Magisterius weapons policy, I'm hopeless with it. Something else as backup sounds fine to me.

[andaisq]

Liz rubs one temple gently with her finger. Naturally. You may be pleased to hear that we don't have one of those.

[subtly_artistic]

Good, I kept forgetting my knife and having to go back to my dorm for it so I wouldn't get stopped. Although that would have gone away as soon as I passed AD.

[andaisq]

Well, it's always good to be prepared, but Whateley won't require you to keep your companion knife handy.

Her rod lets out a bell-tone. Ah, there's the translation spell. This won't feel like anything in particular, don't worry-

"-testing, one, two, three?" she asks aloud.

[subtly_artistic]

"Four five six."

[andaisq]

"Excellent," Carson sighs. "That was- well, it wasn't going to give me a headache, I'm not delicate, but it does get a bit irritating after a time."

"Do you want me to be the one to take you to the infirmary?" Morty blurts out. "It's just- um. I know the way?"

[subtly_artistic]

"I don't see why not."

[andaisq]

Mrs. Carson raises an eyebrow. "Speaking of which: Mortimer, before I forget, you'll be retaking Interdimensional Threat as a tutored course, detention in Hawthorne for a month, and I want you back with your therapist until you can work out some way to stop yourself from doing idiotic things when you're having an episode. If that means getting Mr. Conway to physically pin you to the ground every time you get near an Allen wrench unless you can explain what you're doing with it, then you do that. Are we clear?"

Morty grimaces. "Yes, ma'am."

"Well, don't let me detain you," she says, and steps out the window to sail back towards her office. (The window shuts itself with a wash of blue light.) Once she's safely out of sight, Morty resumes breathing.

[subtly_artistic]

"Are therapists usually - psychics - here?"

[andaisq]

"Huh? Yeah, some of the really good ones. Not all of them, though. I sometimes work with Louis, but usually I'm with Doctor Bellows, and he's just a baseline with a psychology degree."

[subtly_artistic]

"Huh, at home you basically can't go into the field unless you have a little arts. I was studying to be a therapist."

[andaisq]

He nods. "We don't really have all that many psychics. You can train for it even if you don't have the talent, but a trained baseline can't even approach the kind of power you get as a mutant, so most of them don't bother trying. Plus, we were doing psychology before psychics were even a thing. Force of habit, I guess."

[subtly_artistic]

"Yeah, I suppose that would change things. So what are vaccinations like in real life?"

[andaisq]

"They come at you with a little needle full of a clear liquid, it stings like a bastard when they jab you, and it feels like somebody slugged you in the arm for a couple hours afterwards. And then you don't get hyperplague. I've never had a bulk vaccination, though, so that might be different." He declines to contribute the mental image of about fifteen hypodermic needles sticking out of Bella's arm, suspecting that it would be unhelpful.

[subtly_artistic]

"Joy."

[andaisq]

"Little bit, yeah. But having been vaccinated is nice. Polio was not a fun experience by anyone's account. Anyway, shall we?"

[subtly_artistic]

"Yeah, lead the way."

[andaisq]

He does so.

Down through the halls of Emerson they go. Boys stare, wondering dimly about the presence of a female of the species.

Morty grits his teeth. "Sorry, I probably should have mentioned it's, um, single-sex housing. So. This looks a little bit weird, possibly."