whoops?

[andaisq]

Morty knows he shouldn't be screwing around with multidimensional shit. It's dangerous, it's impractical, it's blah blah blah. But it's a potential key to unlimited energy, how does nobody see that? He's built a dimensional siphon (it kind of looks like a cardboard box with a funnel and a TI-84 taped to it, but it damn well works), keyed in the dimensional coordinates to a random plane, and by God he's going to use it.

He flips the switch and waits for the energy bar to fill up.

It does! It fills up very rapidly. Then it explodes, along with the box. There's rather more smoke than there should be, and once the smoke clears someone is standing there.

"Whoops?" Morty says faintly.

Comments

[subtly_artistic]

Inherently valuable and therefore not the sort of thing you want suddenly appearing in your house... the fiction might actually work.

[andaisq]

I was mostly being facetious, but we can actually send over a cartload of out-of-copyright sci-fi, so if that works then it works.

[subtly_artistic]

It was not made with nonfictional science in any way?

[andaisq]

Does the printing press count? If so, we can get someone to write it out by hand. Other than that... The science is sometimes based on real principles, and it builds off of existing technology, although it's not exactly a how-to.

[subtly_artistic]

Just... be really thorough. The story is almost certainly safe, but no science paper, no science ink, etcetera. And don't send too many. The universe doesn't have a known opposition to plagiarism per se but it doesn't like too much cheating. They can probably get away with like... one author apiece.

[andaisq]

We'll be sure to use thoroughly nonscientific paper, ink, and methods of reproduction. Would it be best to choose two very prolific authors, or does that defeat the point?

[subtly_artistic]

Prolific is fine, I'm erring on the side of caution.

[andaisq]

Good to know. We'll go with Verne and... mm, Asimov, he's mostly out of copyright and robots are nothing if not innovative. And the man wrote like someone'd set him on fire.

[subtly_artistic]

I'll take your recommendation there.

[andaisq]

They're quite good. Does that settle everything? Does anything remain unsettled, beyond the process of putting plans into action?

[subtly_artistic]

I think that's basically everything except implementation details.

[andaisq]

Carson claps her hands together. Excellent. Then I can put a translation spell on you, find someone to show you to the infirmary, and get started on the absolutely disastrous paperwork that Mr. Halliwell has brought upon us yet again.

[subtly_artistic]

Okay. Should I just expect to be escorted pretty much everywhere for now so I don't need to memorize where it is and isn't safe to go immediately?

[andaisq]

...One of the nice features of our world is, I think, fewer places that aren't safe to go. Whateley is unusual in actually containing a few, namely the sewers and certain clearly marked parts of the forest. Outside those areas you are vanishingly unlikely to be eaten.

[subtly_artistic]

Oh, that's nice then. Am I also less likely to be attacked by students and faculty? Make it a hat trick?

[andaisq]

I'm finding myself more and more thankful for it, yes, Carson thinks drily. Faculty will under no circumstances attack you, unless possessed or something to that effect. Students may, infrequently, but almost always nonlethally, and it is technically illegal for them to do so. So you can report them to faculty, who will punish them accordingly, or retaliate in kind, which is frowned upon but a legitimate response for those more comfortable with it.

[subtly_artistic]

That's good then. Does 'in kind' mean that if someone comes at me with a knife (Bella is, in fact, wearing a knife) then it has to be a knife fight, or can I just knock them out...?

[andaisq]

Morty looks very slightly horrified. Mrs. Carson seems to be finding a sort of black comedy in this whole affair despite herself.

Just knocking them out is not only appropriate but highly encouraged. Knives are generally frowned upon, since they're easier to accidentally kill someone with; however, if someone with mental shielding assaults you, your best effort at nonlethal self-defense will be fine. Though I might recommend pepper spray or a shock wand, instead, as a matter of personal preference.

[subtly_artistic]

I was mid-semester on Arcane Defense but I know a couple things. Subtle arts knockout would just be my go-to. The knife is only there because I needed one for the Magisterius weapons policy, I'm hopeless with it. Something else as backup sounds fine to me.

[andaisq]

Liz rubs one temple gently with her finger. Naturally. You may be pleased to hear that we don't have one of those.

[subtly_artistic]

Good, I kept forgetting my knife and having to go back to my dorm for it so I wouldn't get stopped. Although that would have gone away as soon as I passed AD.

[andaisq]

Well, it's always good to be prepared, but Whateley won't require you to keep your companion knife handy.

Her rod lets out a bell-tone. Ah, there's the translation spell. This won't feel like anything in particular, don't worry-

"-testing, one, two, three?" she asks aloud.

[subtly_artistic]

"Four five six."

[andaisq]

"Excellent," Carson sighs. "That was- well, it wasn't going to give me a headache, I'm not delicate, but it does get a bit irritating after a time."

"Do you want me to be the one to take you to the infirmary?" Morty blurts out. "It's just- um. I know the way?"

[subtly_artistic]

"I don't see why not."