andaisq | whoops?

Morty knows he shouldn't be screwing around with multidimensional shit. It's dangerous, it's impractical, it's blah blah blah. But it's a potential key to unlimited energy, how does nobody see that? He's built a dimensional siphon (it kind of looks like a cardboard box with a funnel and a TI-84 taped to it, but it damn well works), keyed in the dimensional coordinates to a random plane, and by God he's going to use it.

He flips the switch and waits for the energy bar to fill up.

It does! It fills up very rapidly. Then it explodes, along with the box. There's rather more smoke than there should be, and once the smoke clears someone is standing there.

"Whoops?" Morty says faintly.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

subtly_artistic

I've never heard of any of that.

From:

andaisq

The back of Morty's head comes to rest on the wall behind him with a thunk.

Well, I've got bad news and I've got good news. The bad news is that you're in an alternate universe and Hartford is going to have me thrown off a cliff by wild horses. The good news is that people who aren't me occasionally know what the fuck they're doing. So they might be able to put you back. After having me thrown off a cliff by wild horses.

From:

subtly_artistic

You're some kind of extraplanar studies student? From, I assume, another plane.

From:

andaisq

Yeah, probably. Sure. I do not have enough energy right now to argue about your choice of bad sci-fi words.

From:

subtly_artistic

Planes aren't sci-fi. You just literally summoned me from one.

From:

andaisq

He waves a hand. Yeah, but they still sound like it. American culture's pretty new to magic and mutants and shit, all that's still sci-fi as all hell. He looks thoughtful. You'd think a hundred years would be enough to get used to that kind of thing, but that's humans for you, I guess.

From:

subtly_artistic

Huh?

From:

andaisq

Oh, yeah, alternate universe. Nobody really knows what happened, but about a hundred years back folks started cropping up with Powers That Science Could Not Explain*. So now you get psychics, blasters, wizards, Devisors... But when you haven't had that kind of stuff for the rest of your history it still seems kinda fake. Like, my roommate is literally full of dog ghosts. And he's growing extra nipples. The fuck is up with that, right?

*The communication of unnecessary capitalization through telepathy may or may not be one of these.

From:

subtly_artistic

Did you pull me into some kind of crazy science fantasy universe?

From:

andaisq

Morty's brow furrows. You could say that, I guess. Is yours just kinda normal? Apart from the, uh, telepathy.

From:

subtly_artistic

The telepathy is normal! I'm a subtle artist!

From:

andaisq

Morty holds up his hands, laughing. Don't get me wrong, it's cool! We've got psychics too! It's just they all popped up after the Weirdness Threshold went down, so I put them in with the rest of the Weird. Normal is, like, accountants, not wizards and telepaths.

From:

subtly_artistic

Wizards are normal too! What's this about 'science could not explain'? Why were you expecting science to explain wizards?

From:

andaisq

Um. Well, science is using the fact that most things work in basically the same way to figure out how our world is set up, right? And we'd been using it for a really long time, so we had most of the rules figured out. But then there's all these wizards, and they're turning teacups into frogs and shit, and it doesn't work in the same way as anything else. (Or at least it didn't seem to at the time, the really advanced physicists and theoretical gadgeteers are making some headway on making mutant powers make some damn sense in the context of the rest of everything. More power to them, I guess.)* But we hadn't really run into anything science Could Not Explain before then. So it was kind of fucked-up.

*Mortimer Halliwell is not aware of his ability to think in parentheses, or for that matter footnotes. It probably wouldn't surprise him, though.

From:

subtly_artistic

I'm in some kind of crazy science fantasy universe that finally got fed up with you. Great.

From:

andaisq

Morty looks slightly affronted!

Science still works, you know. We thought lightning was God throwing spears at us for thousands of years, and now we make it in our houses and use it instead of candles. Just because there's some hocus-pocus we can't account for yet doesn't mean it can't be accounted for.

From:

subtly_artistic

So yours is more patient than mine and likes killing you less, sure, but it definitely sounds like it got tired of you having such an easy time of it with the starting rules and decided to jazz it up to keep you on your toes.

From:

andaisq

I-

He thinks for a moment.

I can't actually dispute that. But it's being pretty nice about it, if so. There's mutations that are literally "be good at science," so I don't think it's trying to discourage us too hard. If mutants are the world fucking with us, I don't mind its style too much.

From:

subtly_artistic

What a friendly universe you have.

From:

andaisq

It's pretty nice, honestly. He pats the floor. Thanks, universe. You just keep doing what you're doing.

From:

subtly_artistic

From:

andaisq

...It can't hear me, Morty feels the need to clarify. I'm being facetious.

From:

subtly_artistic

I figured. So, what gets done with me?

From:

andaisq

Morty sobers somewhat. Yes, that. Um, I don't know exactly, but I think you get put back as soon as they can manage, and... I think you get a gift basket of advanced medical technology? Or comparable magical or technological goodies. Except if you'd rather stay they'll let you immigrate and give you a bunch of apology money to start living with. They like to stress the "we're very sorry you got kidnapped, here's free stuff" angle.